EMILY STAYED W/ RAPPER FABOLOUS FOR MONEY, FAME & LIFESTYLE PERKS

EMILY STAYED WITH RAPPER FABOLOUS FOR MONEY, FAME & FABULOUS LIFESTYLE:

EMILY IS NOT A POOR, LOW INCOME SINGLE MOTHER, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM.

MEDIA & TMZ ARE TRYING TO INJECT RACE (BLACK MAN vs LATINO WOMAN).

FABOLOUS HAS GIVEN EMILY MUCH MONEY OVER THE YEARS SO SHE COULD HAVE LEFT IF SHE TRULY FEARED FOR HER LIFE.

EMILY ONLY WENT PUBLIC BECAUSE FAB WAS PREPARING TO LEAVE HER BUT HE WAS STILL GOING TO PAY HER BIG $$$.

EMILY WAS MOST LIKELY LEGALLY ADVISED TO GO PUBLIC NOW AGAINST FAB TO GAIN PUBLIC EMPATHY BY USING THE “#METOO” MOVEMENT TO HER ADVANTAGE.

NOT EVEN PREVIOUS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COULD MAKE EMILY LEAVE BECAUSE SHE WAS GETTING BIG MONEY & LIFESTYLE PERKS FROM FAB.

FABOLOUS DID NOT THREATEN EMILY ABOUT LEAVING, SHE STAYED SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO.

EMILY’S FAMILY WAS PROBABLY BENEFITING FROM FAB’S MONEY & LIFESTYLE PERKS TOO.

BOTH EMILY & FAB ARE WRONG.

THEIR CHILDREN ARE THE REAL VICTIMS IN THIS DRAMA.


Sources: VIBE, Hollywood Life, TMZ, Love & Hip Hop, VH-1, Wordpress, Youtube


***** EMILY) THE WOMAN BEHIND FABOLOUS


I recently read an article on Vibe.comabout rapper Fabolous girlfriend of 8 years. It was an interesting read and I thought I would share it with you. His girlfriend Emily was interviewed by Swizz Beats ex-wife that put Alicia Keys on blast for being a “home wrecker” and the mother of his son singer Mashonda.

Here is the interview in her new weekly column called Pandora’s Box on Vibe.com:

In 2002, Emily Bustamente met rapper John “Fabolous” Jackson. Her life would never be the same. Like most hip-hop relationships, it has been bittersweet; Emily has stood by her man when he was shot, arrested, and surrounded by countless groupies on tour. She is Fab’s lady, friend, stylist, and the mother of his child. I had a chance to catch up with Emily for some real talk, after a recent tapings for her upcoming reality show on VH1.

Stunning, even without any make up on, and casually dressed, the 29 year old, Puerto Rican/Dominican welcomed me in her home. She showed me all of the renovations that her and Fabolous were making to their beautiful, 4-story townhouse. Johan, the couple’s two-year-old son was joyfully running in front of us. Finally, we choose a spot in her bedroom where we could get relaxed. After 20 minutes of non-stop laughter, toddler tips, and summer adventure stories, there was an awkward silence between Emily and myself. I didn’t hear a sound, but Emily insisted that Fabolous was home.

“Yo” Em says.

“Yo” the person replies.

In my mind I’m thinking, “There’s no way she felt him in the house before I could even hear him.” Emily looked at the amazement that came over my face.

“Yeah, I can always feel his presence,” she says.

Johan immediately screamed “Papa” and ran down to meet him. As we lay on their California King size bed, I instantly thought, ”Maybe I should get off?”, but Emily insisted I stay. He greeted Johan, “Heyyyy”. And as his footsteps got closer to the master bedroom, Emily stayed relaxed but glowing. As he got closer, I can tell he was trying to figure out who was in his room.

Mashonda: How did you meet Fabolous?

Emily: I met him in 2002 at an event. He sent his brother over to me to get my attention. I told his brother, “If he wants to talk to me, tell him to come here”. He was there promoting his album. When he finally walked over to me, I asked him why did he send his brother. Why couldn’t he talk to me himself? His response was: “I’m shy”. Those words, and his soft-spoken tone, won me over instantly.

That’s sweet. What happened next?

He asked where I was from, and said that I should visit him next time I’m in New York. I gave him my number and watched him store it in his sidekick as “Emily VA”. I felt like, Wow, he’s only going to know me for my state. I never asked for his number, I felt if it was meant to be, he would call me. We stayed in touch on the phone and when he finally came back to VA to do a show, he called and invited me. We spoke everyday from then on and saw each other often.

How did you finally get to New York?

After seeing each other off and on for 3 years, and spending our summers together, he finally asked me to move to NY to be with him. We built a friendship and we used it to develop our future. It took some time before we got physical; we talked a lot and had a lot of the same passions. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. I couldn’t believe that he said the words. It was a lot for him as well. I knew he was serious when he asked me to move in with him. He said “I have an extra room for your daughter, and bring your Yorkie too.”

I look up and catch Fabolous peeping through the side of the chestnut wood and frosted glass door. “Stop peeping” I said. He smiled and came in the room to greet us. The energy that filled the beautifully decorated room was phenomenal. There you had it—John the man, being fabulous with out being Fabulous. I was completely taken and impressed by his non-celebrity. He sat on the floor and played with Johan as Emily and myself went through some photos on her laptop. Nonchalantly, Emily said, “Your food is in the microwave.” His reply was simple, soft-spoken but so sincere “Thank you.”

Experts say women develop their taste in men at a young age. Did you know you wanted to date someone musically inclined? What kind of values do you look for in a man?

I was always into hip-hop and music, but never cared about dating an entertainer. I look for family values, the way they treat their mother, is a good sign of the way they will treat me.

Do you recommend dating a rapper?

I don’t recommend women to go seeking after a rapper. Make sure you like the person underneath the title. Rappers need love too, they are just men at the end of the day. When they are 60 they wont be rappers anymore. It bothers me when people say “Oh you date a rapper.” No, I date a very intelligent man that has a career and a future. I recommend any woman to find love. It doesn’t matter what form. Just make sure he’s single and responsible.

I know you struggle with Fabolous “the rapper.” Why do you think entertainers let their jobs come between their morals?

These guys struggle with image. Its about bottle popping, women and money. Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit into the Fabolous life, but, I’m a major part of his world. I dress him, but I’m not a part of his brand. I can tell the difference. Having a family is not a topic a rapper can rap about. I respect it, but I fall back, play my position as his life partner. I have no choice because he had that career before he met me. I love his music, I support him, but when he walks through the house door, I prefer to be greeted by John, not Fab. I know the man, not the rapper. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good rapper, but he’s a great man.

What makes women stand by their men through all the pain? Why do we torture ourselves?

Love is so powerful. We put faith in our men. When in a relationship, we have hope that things will be better tomorrow. We base our lives on this hope. I never wanted to change my man. I want him to change for himself. I would never force him to marry me; I want him to want to marry me. I don’t recommend marriage in the twenties. This is what works for me; my relationship is designed for me. Some days are harder than others, but I know what counts and I know the grass may not be greener on the other side.

What’s big in Emily B’s world?

I’m working on a reality show with VH1. It’s so outside of my character to do this and people are shocked that I’m doing it. I can’t give to much info, but I’ll just say it’s along side a few other women whose lives are similar to mine. I’m also styling a few artists and getting ready to launch an online consignment store. My biggest job is being a mother. I get the most fulfillment from that.

After the interview, I decided to return the peep through the small crack in the door. Johan was sitting on his daddy’s lap, and Fab was reading to him aloud. What a classic moment. I looked over at Emily, she smiled. I then understood more than ever why she believes in her man. Even through all the pain, the sleepless studio nights and the millions of groupies, she continues to fight for her family. It was clear. You just never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Mashonda’s Last Words…

The element of love is somewhat the same as the element of freedom—both are worth fighting for. I look at Emily, a mother of two fantastic children, and see a strong woman with an amazing story. However, there is a struggle that exists. When in love with a person that practically lives in a false world, there might always be a battle. It is genuinely easy to give love to others, but sadly, sometimes it’s easier to forget how to love oneself. Know your limits, know what you will and won’t accept. I’ve watched Emily come into her own and grow from her experiences. My belief is this: If no one is being hurt by your decisions and you believe it is worth the fight, then fight for what your heart desires, but always know when to graciously wave the white flag.

TIME’S UP - WOMEN TO MARCH SUNDAY JANUARY 21, 2018 - SUPPORT WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS (WEAR BLACK)

TIME’S UP - WOMEN TO MARCH SUNDAY JANUARY 21, 2018 - SUPPORT WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS (WEAR BLACK):

TIME’S UP MOVEMENT RAISES $15 MIL.

VIOLENCE, SEXISM, DISCRIMINATION & SEXUAL HARASSMENT AGAINST WOMEN HAS NO PLACE IN THE INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS WORLD.

WOMEN HAVE EQUAL HUMAN RIGHTS TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS & HELP CREATE JOBS WITHOUT FEAR.

TIME'S UP.


Sources: Post Sources: Heavy.com, Telegraph.co.uk, CBS News, Page Six, Youtube


******* Women’s March on Washington D.C. 2018: Route, Time, & Map for January 20


The Women’s March organization is hosting a one-year anniversary event, called Power to the Polls, on January 21. But Washington D.C. is hosting its own Women’s March today, January 20. A year ago, the women’s march in D.C. was massive, so expect a big crowd again today. The March on Washington 2018 (in D.C.) rally begins at 11 a.m. Eastern today, January 20, at the Reflecting Pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial. The march itself is expected to start around 1 p.m., according to the event’s official Facebook page. You can’t bring tripods, chairs, or tables. But you can bring cardboard posters or signs, as long as there are no metal or wood posts to hold them up.

Be sure and arrive early, because the event is going to be massive. At least 9,600 have RSVP’d that they plan to attend, and about 5,500 are expected. The rally portion of the event will feature several talented speakers. Here is a map of where the rally will be taking place:

The march, which is expected to begin around 1 p.m., will march all the way to the White House. Although the organizers did not to release the march on their website, according to their march’s Route Webpage, they have released the map via other sources. Thrillist shared a map of the march and where it will be taking place, courtesy of the Women’s March. You can view the map and route here. The march will travel along Constitution Avenue and Independence Avenue. Marshals will help direct the marchers so they know where to go.

Numerous special guests will be speaking at the rally before the march begins. They include:

• Daryl Davis, musician, actor, lecturer, and race relations consultant. He’s the leader of the Daryl Davis Band and wrote Klan-Destine Relationships. He appeared on HBO’s The Wire.
• Judith Heumann, an international disability rights advocate. She served as the first Special Advisor for International Disability Rights during the Obama administration.
• Kofi Annan, president of the Fairfax County NAACP. He’s a native of Georgetown, Guyana, and immigrated to America at the age of 12. He served eight years in the U.S. Army and is now the founder and CEO of Veteran Career Counseling Services, LLC.
• Judy Gearhart, executive director of the International Labor Rights Forum. She teaches human rights at Columbia University.
• Tim Kaine, former Vice Presidential nominee for the Democratic Party.
• Brittany T. Oliver. She’s the founding director of Not Without Black Women, and is a race and gender activist. In 2016, she received national recognition for challenging white feminism during the early stages of the Women’s March on Washington.
• Joanna Lohma, professional soccer player. She’s been a professional athlete for 13 years and is a Sport Diplomat.
• Mia D. Mason, owner of Managers Lendors Investors, Inc.. She’s a veteran LGBT Infantry servicewoman, an Army electronic warfare officer, and a Naval aviation electronic technician.
• Chris Carson. She’s President of the League of Women Voters.
• Kelly Convirs-Fowler, delegate for the 21st district in Virginia.
• Kamala Lopez, director, actress, and President of Heroica Films.
• Jean S. Gearon, Ph.D., Women’s Alliance for Democracy & Justice
• Susan Platt, President of Platt Consulting.
• Kings Floyd, co-chair of DC Metro ADAPT
• Marcela Howell, executive director of In Our Own Voice: National Black Women’s Reproductive Justice Agenda
• Eve Hurwtiz, Treasurer of March On
• Nuchhi Currier, President of the Women’s National Democratic Club
• Muthoni Wambu Kraal, VP for Outreach and Training at EMILY’s List
• Eleanor Smeal: President and co-founder of Feminist Majority Foundation
• Toni Van Pelt: President of the National Organization for Women
• Marilyn Karp: A leader of Indivisible Nova West, a group focused on Getting Out the Vote.
• Elise A. Bryant: Director and Labor Educator
• Greisa Martinez Rosas: DACA recipient and potential Dream Act beneficiary
• Nadia Hassan: Young Leaders Institute
• Ann Marie Benitez: Senior Director of Government Relations, National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health
• Wendi Wallace: Political Outreach Director for Planned Parenthood Action Fund
• Tom E. Perez, Chairman of the DNC
• Bryce Armstrong, Miss District of Columbia USA 2018
•Performers will include Batala in Washington D.C. and SongRise.

This isn’t the only event in the nearby area that you can attend this weekend. On Sunday, January 21, at 7 p.m., a book discussion on feminist books will take place at the home of an Arlington NOW member (details here.) And on Saturday at 1 p.m., Plymouth Congregational United Church of Christ in DC will be hosting an abortion discussion, focusing on the effects the pro-life movement has had on African Americans.


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***** Sexism against Female entrepreneurs


In the wake of the ongoing sexual harassment scandals in Hollywood and beyond, women across the world are taking a stand.
This Sunday, thousands of women (and men) will join forces in cities the world over, taking to the streets to march and send the message that 'Time's Up' - the name of a legal defence fund set up to financially support women who have experienced sexual harassment, assault, or abuse in the workplace.

It comes exactly a year after the global women's marches in protest at Donald Trump's inauguration, which saw half a million people descend on Washington DC to defend women's rights, amid concerns that the US President would begin to dismantle them. Many wore hats with pink ears, and celebrity supporters included Emma Watson and Madonna.

The 2018 march in London - which starts opposite Downing Street at 11am on Sunday January, 21 -, seeks to capitalise on the activism kick-started by the #MeToo hashtag that sprung up in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, and has seen a widespread move to tackle sexual harassment in the workplace.

In a statement, the organisers said: ‘We are coming together to pledge that we are going to make change in big and small ways. We will stand side by side, once again, in solidarity with our sisters, brothers and siblings around the world. Together we are strong and if we all work for a better world then time is really up for oppressors of women.’

In 2016, just nine per cent of all start up funding went to female founders, according to data from Barclays and the Entrepreneurs Network. With male entrepreneurs 86 per cent more likely than their female counterparts to raise venture capital funding in the UK, it’s safe to say there is an issue.

Such a climate even lead two young women entrepreneurs to invent a fake male co-founder to correspond with potential investors. Penelope Gazin and Kate Dwyer, who founded the online art marketplace Witchsy, created an imaginary third co-founder Keith Mann to help get their business off the ground.

"It's frustrating that a significant proportion of funding goes towards male-founded or led businesses," Annabel Denham, programme director at The Entrepreneurs Network, previously toldThe Telegraph. "This is not just an economic discussion, though we know start-ups are vital to the UK economy: we want to see smart, savvy businesswomen getting the same opportunities as their male counterparts."


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*** Time’s Up very close to $16M goal


Since launching January 1, the Time’s Up initiative has raised $15.86 million of its $16 million goal.

To celebrate, Reese Witherspoon shared a video on Instagram with Brie Larson, Kerry Washington, Tracee Ellis Ross, Rashida Jones and Tessa Thompson thanking everyone for their generous donations.

“We have raised $15 million so far from more than 10,000 people who have donated from 60 countries, all 50 states and this is just the beginning,” Ross said.

“This is only possible because of you,” Thompson added.

Time’s Up is also raising money for a legal defense fund for both women and men who believe that they’ve been discriminated against or harassed in the workplace.

Jones and Washington invited viewers to wear black Sunday in honor of the 2018 Golden Globes, where stars are wearing black to take a stand against sexual harassment and sexual assault.

Many attendees are also donning the Time’s Up pin, which was created by costume designer Arianne Phillips and jewelry designer Michael Schmidt.

EZEKIEL ELLIOT NOT REWARDED BY NFL FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (NOT RACE, HIS FISTS, RAY RICE)

EZEKIEL ELLIOT NOT REWARDED BY NFL FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (RAY RICE):

IT'S NOT ABOUT HIS RACE, IT'S ABOUT EZEKIEL'S FISTS.

BEATING WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE A RITE OF PASSAGE.

GOD DID NOT CREATE WOMEN TO BE USED AS PUNCHING BAGS.

INSTEAD OF MEN & CHURCHES BLAMING WOMEN FOR "PROVOKING" THEM TO VIOLENCE, GO SEEK SOME THERAPY.


Sources: TMZ Sports, Dallas Morning News, Fox Sports, NY Daily News, USA Today, YouTube



******* Suspension of Cowboys' Ezekiel Elliott shows NFL has finally learned from Ray Rice

“I believe you."

It’s such a simple phrase, most often said without much thought of any greater meaning. But for women who are victims of domestic violence, conditioned to think no one will believe them, or that they somehow brought some horror upon themselves, those three little words can be life-changing.

Maybe even life-saving.

Ezekiel Elliott’s six-game suspension, announced Friday by the NFL, has the potential to be transformative, and I’m not referring to the Dallas Cowboys’ Super Bowl hopes. In its letter to Elliott, one of the league’s brightest young stars, the NFL made it clear that it believed the woman who had accused him of domestic abuse.

It didn’t matter that prosecutors had decided not to bring charges, a sadly common occurrence in domestic violence cases. Nor did it matter that Elliott had disputed the allegations, trashing his former girlfriend and her credibility in the process. It didn’t even matter that Jerry Jones, arguably the most powerful owner in the NFL, had tried to use his influence to affect the outcome of the investigation.

After a thorough and extensive investigation, the NFL came to a simple, yet powerful conclusion: It believed her.

“Based on the entire record, the credible evidence establishes that on multiple occasions during the week of July 16, 2016, you used physical force against (the victim) resulting in her injury,” Todd Jones, the NFL’s special counsel for conduct, wrote in the letter explaining Elliott’s suspension.

The impact of the league siding with a domestic violence victim cannot be overstated.

Yes, understanding of domestic violence has grown in the three years since the Ray Rice fiasco, and attitudes toward victims are improving. But there is still much work to do. Too many cases go unreported or unprosecuted because of a lack of evidence or a fear of not being believed. (Funny how no one demands a video of the break-in when a robbery is reported.) Too many people still assume that domestic violence is someone else’s problem, certain it couldn’t happen in their community, in their circle of friends, in their own home.


Too many women still live in terror, for themselves and for their children. Too many women are still dying, an average of three each day.

By doing a thorough investigation — the league consulted with two medical experts about “the causation and aging of certain injuries” and there were over 100 exhibits, including “thousands” of text messages and other electronic communications — the NFL sent a message that domestic violence is to be taken seriously, and that the accused isn’t the only one who deserves the benefit of the doubt.

“They have a commitment to their players, to treat the players fairly and evaluate any evidence against them fairly,” said Kim Gandy, president and CEO of the National Network to End Domestic Violence.

“But they also have taken on a responsibility to their fans and society at large to make sure that the victims are also treated fairly.”

For years, the NFL put women in harm’s way with its decisions and actions on domestic violence — or inactions, as was too often the case. Players busted for DUI or drugs often face harsher consequences.

Even after all of the promises Commissioner Roger Goodell made in the aftermath of the Rice debacle, the NFL suspended New York Giants kicker Josh Brown for all of one game last year — this despite knowing his wife had told police she’d been abused more than 20 times and its own security having to step in at the Pro Bowl after Brown showed up at her hotel room.

But Elliott’s suspension, and the league's commitment to giving his accuser a fair shake, is a positive and welcome change. Nothing in this country commands a bigger spotlight than the NFL, and its decisions have the power to drive conversations and influence opinions.

Maybe the NFL's decision, and its reasoning for it, will give a woman the courage to report her abuse or leave her abuser. Maybe it will make those so quick to blame the victim pause to consider that she might be telling the truth.

“Whenever a sports organization — whether it’s the NFL or Major League Baseball or the NBA — takes serious action backed up by evidence in a domestic violence case, it raises the profile of the issue,” Gandy said.

The NFL told a domestic violence victim it believed her. Why shouldn’t we?



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***** Ezekiel Elliott 'itching to play,' even with Cowboys out of playoff picture


Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott -- who returned from a six-game domestic violence suspension last Sunday -- said that the Cowboys' clash with the Philadelphia Eagles this Sunday matters, even with Dallas out of the playoff picture.

"I only played nine games this season; I'm itching to play football," Elliott told reporters Wednesday, via The Dallas Morning News. "I don't care if we're playing for nothing, I'm playing for something.

"I'm playing for myself, we're playing for each other, and so I'm excited to go out and play Sunday. I'm not going to have any problem waking up Sunday morning, getting ready to play. You don't have to worry about that from me or from anyone on this team."

Through the nine games Elliott has played, he's racked up 880 yards and is within range of surpassing the 1,000-yard plateau on Sunday.

"If it happens, it happens," Elliott said. "It's not like you can go out there and force that, but it definitely would be nice."

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******* Report: Ezekiel Elliott involved in earlier altercation with domestic violence accuser


Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott was allegedly involved in a February altercation with the same woman who has previously accused him of domestic violence, according to a report from USA Today, with the incident reportedly resulting in police being called to the scene:

The woman who accused Dallas Cowboys star Ezekiel Elliott of abusing her for five days in July also called police on him months before the NFL Draft, alleging she suffered left shoulder pain from the force of Elliott pushing her up against a wall during an argument that turned physical.

An incident report obtained Friday by USA TODAY Sports from the Aventura (Fla.) Police Department said there were no visible signs of injury and that the accuser declined to go to the hospital after police responded to a call about an altercation at Elliott’s apartment Feb. 12.

Article continues below ...Elliott reportedly was not placed under arrest for the alleged altercation.

The Cowboys running back was interviewed by the NFL last month regarding domestic violence allegations from the same accuser this past summer.

No charges were brought at that time. Prosecutors stated the lack of charges were “primarily due to conflicting and inconsistent information across all the incidents resulting in concern regarding the sufficiency of the evidence to support the filing of criminal charges.”

Elliott’s alleged ex-girlfriend told police in July that Elliott assaulted her while they sat in a parked car and that she has had pain in her wrist but declined medical treatment.

Elliott, who has maintained his innocence, told authorities at the time that he never touched Thompson in “a harmful manner.” He claimed Thompson suffered the bruises in a bar fight.

Earlier this week and prior to this new report, Elliott's attorney, Frank Salzano, released a statement defending his client (via USA Today):

“For the past several days the media has elected to focus on allegations of domestic violence involving Mr. Elliott despite the Columbus, Ohio Prosecutor’s Office decision not to charge Mr. Elliott nearly two months ago.

As previously reported, the prosecutor's office conducted a thorough seven-week investigation whereby in their own words they “dotted every I and crossed every T” and concluded there was no credible evidence to file any charges against Mr. Elliott.

My office provided a mountain of exculpatory evidence demonstrating Mr. Elliott's innocence and directly contradicting all of the false allegations contained in the Accuser’s two police reports as first reported on July 22, 2016.

“Yet the media has chosen to deflect the recent negative press regarding the NFL's reported mishandling of several domestic violence matters by focusing on the NFL's prolonged investigation of Mr. Elliott.

The NFL’s interview of Mr. Elliott was conducted over four weeks ago and went unreported at the time as it was then, and still remains a non-story.

It is league protocol to conduct a separate investigation whenever there are allegations of domestic violence by one of its players.

“We firmly believe that the NFL should promptly close its investigation which is only open because of their apprehensiveness stemming from the recent scrutiny it has come under for its handling of other domestic violence matters.
Notwithstanding the forgoing, we remain firm that the NFL will clear Mr. Elliott of any wrongdoing and this matter can be finally put to rest.”

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LAWS ARE FINALLY CHANGING (2018 ELECTION ISSUE)

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LAWS ARE FINALLY CHANGING:

MORE WOMEN ARE SPEAKING OUT, SO IS THE MEDIA.

2018 ELECTION ISSUES SHOULD INCLUDE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

IT'S NOT ABOUT HATING MEN, IT'S ABOUT NOT BLAMING THE VICTIMS WHEN MEN BEAT WOMEN.

WOMEN WHO TRY TO DEFEND THEMSELVES AGAINST ABUSERS SHOULD NOT BE LABELED AS "CRAZY".

"NICE" MEN DON'T BEAT THEIR WIVES.

"NICE" MEN DON'T PUNISH THEIR WIVES FINANCIALLY TO FORCE THEM INTO ADULTERY OR OPEN MARRIAGES.

"NICE" MEN GO TO THERAPY WHEN THEY HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM.


Sources: WBUR, NY Times


******* Deadlock, Delay Mark Explorations Of Mass. Public Records Law Changes


Lawmakers should continue to study the possibilities of requiring daily arrest logs from the state police and removing or modifying public record exemptions for domestic violence incidents, according to a working group created by a 2016 law.

An overhaul of the state's public records law that Gov. Charlie Baker signed on June 3, 2016 established a pair of panels to study additional measures and gave both deadlines of Dec. 30, 2017. The law also set a ten business day response window for records request responses, required state agencies and municipalities to designate records officers, and limited how much money public entities can charge to fulfill a request, among other measures.

One of the groups the law created — a 14-member commission tasked with examining "the accessibility of information concerning the legislative process" and the constitutionality of extending the public records law to the Legislature, the governor and the Judiciary — has until Dec. 1, 2018 to report findings. Lawmakers last month quietly pushed back the original Dec. 30, 2017 reporting date by adding language to a Cannabis Control Commission spending bill. The co-chairs of the State Administration Committee - Rep. Jennifer Benson of Lunenburg and Sen. Walter Timilty of Milton - are leading that group.

The other group, which filed its final report with the House and Senate clerks on Friday, was charged with exploring the topic of police department records.

"While the group could not reach consensus on proposed legislation, it highlighted areas of concerns in current statutes and recommended further examination of these laws," state supervisor of records Rebecca Murray, who chaired the working group, wrote in a message accompanying the report.

Murray wrote that she hopes the report "sets the groundwork for the Legislature to ensure the laws of the Commonwealth reach the necessary balance between the transparency of law enforcement in Massachusetts and the privacy of individuals."

Specifically, the law instructed the working group to review the exemption to the public records law that covers "investigatory materials necessarily compiled out of the public view by law enforcement," as well as the "the public interest" in releasing police documents such as arrest reports, and related privacy and confidentiality concerns.

The group was deadlocked on whether to recommend adding the state police into the law that requires all municipal police department to maintain a daily log of complaints, crimes and arrests, according to meeting minutes included in the report.

Entries in such logs are considered public records, with exceptions for incidents involving certain handicapped individuals, domestic violence, rape or sexual assault, and arrests for assault against a relative or household members.

Murray, Sen. Joan Lovely, attorney Jeffrey Pyle of Prince Lobel, Foxborough Town Clerk Robert Cutler, and Randall Ravitz, chief of Attorney General Maura Healey's appeals division, voted in favor of extending the log requirement to state police.

Voting against were Shannon Sullivan, a designee of Public Safety and Security Secretary Daniel Bennett; Capt. Michael Lyver, president of the state police Commissioned Officers Association of Massachusetts; Robert Ross, general counsel at the Executive Office of Administration and Finance; Jessica Katon, Sen. Richard Ross's constituent services director; and Salisbury Police Chief Thomas Fowler.

A 2014 law aimed at curbing domestic violence made it so police reports about domestic violence and rape were not deemed public records, and therefore not subject to disclosure requirements. Supporters said the move would increase confidentiality for victims.

The group voted 10-0 to not recommend changes to the disclosure exemption for reports of abuse involving household members, and 10-1 not to recommend changes to the exemption relating to domestic violence, with Robert Ambrogi of the Massachusetts Newspaper Publishers Association dissenting.
Instead, the panel suggested that the Legislature should study those issues, as well as the question of whether the state police should be subject to the daily log requirements and how that requirement would be fulfilled if so.

PENTAGON SUED FOR ALLOWING MEN WHO BEAT WOMEN TO POSSESS GUNS (VETS NOT EXEMPT)

PENTAGON SUED FOR ALLOWING MEN WHO BEAT WOMEN TO POSSESS GUNS:

VETS WHO BEAT THEIR WIVES SHOULD NOT BE EXEMPT.

VETS WHO BEAT THEIR WIVES SHOULD BE COURT FORCED INTO THERAPY, NOT ALLOWED TO CARRY GUNS.

NO WOMAN CAN PROVOKE A MAN TO BEAT HER BRAINS OUT OR SHOOT HER BRAINS OUT.

21st CENTURY AMERICA STILL LAGS WHEN IT COMES TO PROTECTING WOMEN.


Sources: Washington Post


***** After Texas church massacre, cities sue Pentagon for failing to report criminals to FBI gun database


Three cities have filed suit against the Pentagon for lapses that allowed a mass shooter in Texas to buy a gun, even though he carried a conviction in military court that should have barred his purchase.

Devin P. Kelley, who was convicted of domestic violence while serving in the U.S. Air Force, was never reported by the military for inclusion on an FBI database of individuals blocked from purchasing firearms. Kelley went on to kill more than two dozen churchgoers in Sutherland Springs, Tex., last month in one of the worst mass shootings in U.S. history.

In the complaint filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Alexandria, Va., the three cities — New York, San Francisco and Philadelphia — say they rely on the integrity of the FBI’s background check system. The suit alleges that the defendants, which include the military branches and Defense Secretary Jim Mattis, have an “admitted, systemic and longstanding failure to comply with the law.”

The cities are seeking to force the Defense Department to fully participate in the reporting system, which they said is already required by law. They also want the court to oversee the department’s compliance efforts.

“The Executive Branch and Congress have both had their chances to repair this clearly broken system. Now, after twenty years of failure, it’s time for the Courts to step in,” Ken Taber, a partner at Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman and lead counsel for the plaintiffs, said in a statement. The Giffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence also helped prepare the suit.

A spokesman for the Defense Department declined to comment Wednesday, citing a policy against commenting on ongoing litigation. A spokesman for the Justice Department said the attorney general has launched his own investigation into the issue.

“After visiting first responders and victims’ families in Sutherland Springs, Attorney General Jeff Sessions instructed the ATF and FBI to conduct a comprehensive review with the Department of Defense of how certain information is reported to the National Instant Criminal Background Check System,” Justice Department spokesman Devin O’Malley said in an email Wednesday. “The Justice Department is reviewing yesterday’s lawsuit and determining next steps.”

Members of a family ravaged by the Sutherland Springs shooting have also filed suit against the Air Force, alleging its failure to report Kelley’s criminal background led to their loved ones’ slayings.

Military officials have long acknowledged problems with the way it reports records to the FBI gun background check database.

According to Pentagon guidelines, military law enforcement personnel are supposed to submit fingerprint cards as well as information about the results of a criminal proceeding to the FBI database if troops are charged with or convicted of certain violent crimes, including domestic violence and child abuse.

However, a recent review by the Pentagon’s oversight agency, which examined 2,502 criminal cases between January 2015 and December 2016, found that 1 in 4 fingerprint cards were not submitted to the database. Military law enforcement failed to submit one-third of the final disposition reports, the review found.

Kelley’s record should have disqualified him from purchasing a weapon. Kelley spent a year in jail for crushing his young stepson’s skull, assaulting his wife and making other threats. He received a bad-conduct discharge from the military in 2014, a step below a dishonorable discharge.

Two years after his discharge, Kelley cleared a background check and bought a Ruger AR-556 semiautomatic rifle from a San Antonio sporting goods shop.
The weapon was found in front of the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs after the Nov. 5 killings.

SEN HEIDI HEITKAMP INTRODUCES BILL TO HELP HOUSE WOMEN & CHILDREN IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITUATIONS (HEALS ACT)

SENATOR HEIDI HEITKAMP INTRODUCES BILL TO HELP HOUSE WOMEN & CHILDREN IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITUATIONS:

NOT HAVING THE RESOURCES TO LEAVE IS WHY MOST WOMEN REMAIN IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS.

THE OTHER REASON IS PSYCHOLOGICAL BECAUSE CONSTANT ABUSE CAUSES WOMEN TO QUESTION THEIR SELF-WORTH.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AFFECTS WOMEN PHYSICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS WHEN A MAN CONTROLS A WOMAN'S MIND WITH HIS FISTS.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ABUSERS ARE VERY CUNNING AND OFTEN ACCUSE THEIR VICTIMS OF "PROVOKING THEM".

THESE NARCISSITIC MEN APPEAR TO BE "NICE" IN PUBLIC WHEN BEHIND CLOSED DOORS THEY ARE MONSTERS.

THE CYCLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & SEXUAL HARASSMENT AGAINST WOMEN MUST BE STOPPED.

GREAT JOB SENATOR HEITKAMP........THANK YOU.


Sources: NTXE, WDAZ


******* Sen. Heitkamp introduces bill to help shelter victims of domestic violence

After an incident of domestic violence, many victims don't have a place to go.

But a safe place may soon be closer to home.

WDAZ's Scott Cook tells us how badly it is needed in our area.

"It's extraordinarily difficult for a woman in an abusive relationship to leave. In fact, national statistics tell us it takes seven times. And you may ask why -- why is because frequently there are no other options, there’s no place to go, there’s no housing," says Senator Heidi Heitkamp.

No housing, no place to go. That's an issue many victims face after an act of domestic violence. But Senator heidi Heitkamp has introduced a bill to fix the crunch. The Help End Abusive Living Situations Act or HEALS -- would provide more funding for 'transitional housing,' an important step between shelters and permanent housing that includes counseling, childcare, career and financial training.

"Whether people are aware of it or not, we have a huge need for housing in this community," says Kristi Anderson, CVIC Counselor.

According to Kristi Anderson with the CVIC here in Grand forks, its a problem more common than most would think.

Thirty-three families are in danger of allowing the cycle to continue, as they wait for housing.

"The clients we see coming in -- usually the biggest barrier is where are they going to stay that night. If they can't go home because of the abuse in the family, they would need to either utilize a hotel, which sometimes they don't have the funds for, so they would need to utilize shelter, which isn't always the best option especially for families with kids," says Anderson.

The HEALS Act would increase funding and create more flexibility for transitional housing programs that help victims get back on their feet. And the added funding would help with more than just the housing waitlist.

"It's not just housing, it's the whole wrap-around services that are so critically important to these families recover from a life of violence," says Heitkamp.

Some legislature that could help some of the most vulnerable people in our society.

According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, fifty-one percent of victims who need emergency housing do not receive it.

WOMEN IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS ARE OFTEN MADE TO APPEAR AS BEING "CRAZY"

WOMEN IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS ARE OFTEN MADE TO APPEAR AS BEING "CRAZY":

OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM ALLOWS THIS TO PROTECT MEN WHO BEAT THEIR WIVES & TO SILENCE WOMEN.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AFFECTS WOMEN PHYSICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS WHEN A MAN CONTROLS A WOMAN'S MIND WITH HIS FISTS.

HUSBANDS WHO BEAT THEIR WIVES ARE "REWARDED" WITH LIGHT SENTENCES.

GOD IS THE ONLY REAL JUDGE WHO PUNISHES MEN WHO ABUSE WOMEN WHEN COURTS REFUSE TO.


Sources: Daily Beast


****** Here Is the Powerful Statement a Wife Read Aloud to the Court and Her Abusive Husband


For ten years, Neha Rastogi says, she was abused by her husband, Abhishek Gattani. But despite her recordings recording some of that abuse, the Santa Clara District Attorney’s office let him plead no contest to offensive touching and felony accessory after the fact and agreed to a deal in which he would serve less than two full weeks in jail. Here is Rastogi’s full statement, as written, that she read aloud while Judge Allison Marston Danner was on vacation, asking her to change the terms of the prosecutor’s deal:

"Your honor,

I appreciate this opportunity given to me to speak about my abuse at the hands of Abhishek Gattani, I thank for this time given to me to voice my concerns, and requests to you and this court in the case of People vs. Abhishek Gattani. I apologize that my statement is a bit long but I've been effectively silenced since the day I married Abhishek and now throughout these criminal court proceedings and this is my one and only chance to speak … so please bear with me.

First I’d like to bring to your attention a few facts, which I feel, have not been considered in this case while coming up with the plea deal granted to and accepted by Mr. Gattani.

I had been married to Abhishek Gattani for 10 years, and being battered by him for the entire duration. He hit me, multiple times during each incident on my face, arms, head, belly, pulled my hair and abused me and called me a bitch, whore, slut, bastard and much more in my language.

Towards the last 4 years of our marriage he brainwashed me into admitting that I was a complete disgrace to him and the family we built and that if he was in my place, he would commit suicide out of shame, in other words telling me to commit suicide. He also started to threaten to kill me and when I expressed fear or feeling unsafe with him he called it “my self inflicted depression”.

He was probably a few days away from killing me when I got out of this dangerous and abusive marriage – I had started getting my will done, my life insurance done, in other words started to prepare our child’s future once he kills me. I even mentioned to him that what if this happen to our child if this happens and he said “I will not leave you, I will kill you and then kill myself, our child (not mentioning her name here) is collateral damage”. Abhishek – she is NOT collateral damage - She is the best thing that happened between us and will remain so.

2. Finally on 1st July 2016, I reported abuse to the authorities. Abhishek Gattani was arrested once before on 30 November 2013, as he was beating me punching me in the head and grabbing me from the neck, out in the open (on the street) when our mailman reported his abuse. He was convicted for this violence against me in this very court in 2014.

His first arrest on felony battery charge was reduced to misdemeanor – disturbing the peace on account of POSSIBLE immigration consequences.

The same reason being given by his defense attorney Mr. Paez (who I hired for Abhishek during the first case), this time around to enable reduction and leniency in the plea deal offered to this serial aggressor. I helped Abhishek escape a harsher punishment, because, being from India, I did not know better, I did not understand the American criminal justice system and above all I hoped like a fool that this might bring some change in him.

3. He was also required to take a 52-week anger management class as part of his previous sentence.

4. This time around there is evidence in the form of audio and video clips which clearly show and prove that Abhishek was hitting me (repetitively hitting me on the face and body), there are videos of him threatening to stab me 45 times and many of these videos show this abuse towards and happening in the presence of our then 2.5 year old child. There is also evidence in the form of pictures of bruises obtained from these beatings. There is also evidence of his parents confirming (over a video recording) to his physical abuse against them (both father and mother) as well as Abhishek’s younger sister.

5. Abhishek and I have a now ~3.5 year old daughter together who has been exposed to and has been impacted from, his abusive – aggressive behavior.

YH, this is the second time his abuse towards me has been reported to the state, but it is not the second time he has committed these crimes. Our child (3.5 years now) and I have taken many years of abuse, of which 3 years of abuse post his conviction in the matter from 2013. I hoped that he could change his ways and that I could give a complete family to our child. That hope died on 30th June 2016 and I reported his violent abuse towards our daughter and me on July 1st of 2016.

In these past few months I have tried come to terms with the fact that the man I married … the father of my child … is a horrible human being, and didn't deserve my care or respect or love and now, he doesn’t deserve another second of my mental space given the 10 years I have already wasted on him. He was a mistake and now I need to move on... but I find it difficult to move on when I feel wronged by the DA's office and this court. Honestly I feel fooled not just by a convicted criminal, aggressor, wife beater, batterer, that I unfortunately married - the worst mistake of my life but by this court as well. With all due respect to the system... I stand FOOLED, disgraced and ridiculed as a victim.

I wanted to speak up at the last hearing as well, but I was told today is the right time to do so. Honestly I am not sure why is it so, as it seems it's all done... what's the point of me speaking up now?

I get heard to be ignored? to be told that the system understands the abuse and the impact it has had on our child and me but sorry it is what it is. I was told no jail, no classes, no penalties can change Mr Gattani.

Is this the faith the DA’s office and the court have in the justice being provided in this court? Is that the reason for leniency in such cases? Have we given up on justice? Is that the thinking behind giving him a charge which honestly doesn’t add up to his crime AT ALL?

I am no attorney but I can read and understand English. When I look up the charge: Felony – Accessory after the fact it means: Someone who assisted another 1) who has committed a felony, 2) after the person has committed the felony, 3) with knowledge that the person committed the felony, and 4) with the intent to help the person avoid arrest or punishment.

Please help me understand how is this a charge appropriate to the crimes he has himself admitted to in this very court. By taking the plea deal he has admitted to hitting me, he has admitted to threatening to kill me, he has admitted that he hit me and mentally tortured me throughout my pregnancy and his abuse resulted in me making multiple trips to the ER even as late as 8 months into my pregnancy.

Please advise me how does accessory after the fact apply to a criminal like him? Who was he assisting while torturing me … who is that criminal, because if it wasn’t him shouldn’t this court be searching for that person. Please let me assure you as a victim of his abuse, you need to look no further – HE did it. His charge should be Felony – battery with the intent to harm if not kill.

The second charge on him is a “Misdemeanor – offensive touching”? I didn’t even need to look this one up, as it made me laugh when then I realized that I was laughing at myself, I was the joke here. “Offensive touching!!!”

Please explain me is it offensive touching when a 8 month pregnant women is beaten and then forced to stand for the entire night by her husband, is it offensive touching when a mother nursing her 6 day old child is slapped on her face by her husband because he thinks she is not latching properly with the child, is it offensive touching when a women is flung to the floor and repetitively kicked in her belly, is it offensive touching when a women is slapped 9 times by her husband until she agrees to everything he is saying and then gets hit again for not agreeing with it sooner … is it offensive touching - I call it terrorism … That’s how I felt – terrorized and controlled held hostage by the fear of pain, humiliation and assault on my being and my daughter’s.

I feel disgraced by the charges – 3 years of abuse towards our child and 10 years of abuse towards me has equated to 15 days of his life in jail.

The system has shown me that concerns over Abhishek’s immigration status has completely trampled rights of my daughter and my own. How is it that this is the second time he has been convicted of Domestic Violence and this is the charge.

Between the prosecution and defense, I've been marginalized and honestly insulted. What I have suffered at Abhishek's hands has become insignificant in favor of considerations for Abhishek's job, immigration status. What about our child, what about me? We both experienced domestic violence from Abhishek, yet our voices cannot reach the authorities.

The plea deal given to him is not punishment for his doings rather an encouragement for continuing his ways, with just one lesson to be learnt by him – to keep it under the covers next time and that he should silence the next victim and not just control her. He was shown leniency by this court in his previous case, but the same shown this time around, stands no basis. Seriously, how many chances does a grown up, educated, CEO of a tech startup need to understand that he is not to hit anyone or else he will have consequences like going to jail, or even being deported.

This person preys on the mere perception of weakness and that’s what the system is exhibiting today.

Multiple times in the past, Mr Gattani would come back home from Cuberon, his startup, after having an argument with his co-founder and tell me, “you and my co-founder (who shall remain unnamed) are the same – lazy, empty promise makers, Positive fools, with no results. I can’t trust him.” Mr Gattani, had the same remarks about friends and even successful, accomplished people as the main investors in his very startup just because they would show empathy and not aggression when approaching a challenging situation, calling them free loaders and lucky by being at the right place at the right time.

Who is the free loader today if not him, and who is offering this leniency – the judicial system. This to him isn’t equality or rights but sign of weakness, which he takes advantage of. He has physically and mentally tortured his parents, his sister, his wife and now his 2.5 yr old daughter too – all because he looked at our values and morals and care for him as a sign of weakness, which he could misuse.

He named our strength as our weakness and continuously took advantage of it. He will do the same here and I stand terrified of the consequences of that as a mother, as again a future victim and for all those who he would prey on in the times to come.

I am appalled by the sentence he is getting.

I believe justice will come to him, if not through this court then by God's decree on account of his doings but I do stand disappointed here as a law abiding citizen of the most powerful country in the world, feeling unprotected and ridiculed by a CRIMINAL… who is here pleading guilty for the same crimes committed against the same victim in just 3 years of the first REPORTED incident while ON probation.

The reason I speak out now, is that, no anger management classes can help a man who doesn’t think he did anything wrong when he HIT and ABUSED others to control them, once someone escapes their guilt the only thing that stops them is serious consequences – which is a rightful conviction. I see that the defense council has requested his felony charge to be reduced to a misdemeanor in the future. This is the same criminal who has already fooled the system for 3 years after being convicted for the same crimes. I can almost confirm he will do the same again.

I believe in God and I will pray that we don't come back here in this very situation because this court was lenient with this convicted felon with a criminal history... I pray that I am proven wrong as peace is cheap at such cost... but if I am proven right this moment will stand very dark and very heavy in the minds of all of us who could have done something to stop that from happening.

I don’t understand the legal proceedings but I do seriously object to his request for getting to serve county jail post completion of the 5 month sheriff’s program. Is this a joke?.

This criminal is asking for a chance to wrap up his business???? Really are we enrolling him in a spa of giving him a punishment for abusing his wife and child for 10 years.

We are looking for the convenience of this felon who forced me multiple times to resign from my job (all recorded and provided as evidence) or else he will continue his abuse in front of our then 2.5-year-old child and not allow her to go to sleep … this leniency for a person of his morals and virtues?

I cannot articulate my despair at this treatment of his crimes. It’s as if we are giving him a slap on his wrist because he got caught … this is barely any consequence for him for ruining the childhood of our daughter and the 10 best years of my life.

I believe you as the judge in this case have the power to rethink what is being given away here in the name of equal rights. Rights come with consequences too.

I believe you have the power to stop any further leniency then already being given to him by the DA’s office. I believe you have the power to restore some faith in my heart that I wasn’t completely made a fool of, by this criminal and the judicial system.

I request you the following:

1. no jail credits are given to him and he serves full sentence of 30 days in county jail (CJ),

2. he be arrested today and made to serve his CJ sentence from right now; and

3. his Felony charge NEVER be reduced to a misdemeanor.

I request this to you knowing fully well that YOU have the power to do so. Rest, please do what you think is right and would help you sleep tonight.
Once again, thank you for this opportunity to state the facts and voice my disappointment. Thank you for listening to me everyone."

NEW YEAR'S EVE CHALLENGE TO HELP BATTERED WOMEN & CHILDREN WHO LIVE IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTERS

NEW YEAR'S EVE CHALLENGE TO HELP BATTERED WOMEN & CHILDREN WHO LIVE IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTERS:

PLEASE GO OUT TODAY AND PURCHASE TOYS, CLOTHES & TOLIETRIES FOR HURTING WOMEN & VICTIMIZED CHILDREN LIVING IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTERS.

CHRISTMAS & NEW YEARS' IS THE SEASON TO HELP THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE AND NEED A HAND TO BOUNCE BACK.


Sources: Naples News


****** Shelter's Volunteer Elves Bring Christmas Joy To Moms, Kids Who Fled Violence


Editor's note: To protect shelter residents and their children, their names have been changed in this story.

In Berta’s world, women are supposed to stay quiet about domestic violence and abuse.

The day she decided to call the police on her husband, the help came with a price. Her family criticized and rejected her.

Her ex-husband’s family threatened her, she said. She left her home with her daughter and ended up at the Shelter for Abused Women & Children in Collier County.

Because she spoke up, Berta and her 6-year-old can have the stable, peaceful life they wanted.

“It was difficult to make that choice, leave everything behind and have to start a new life,” Berta said in Spanish. “But it was for the best.”

When she and her daughter first arrived, they spent some time in the emergency shelter before being admitted to the organization’s Transitional Living Program and moving into a cottage near the shelter campus, where they have been living for about three months.

With the support she received from the staff, Berta enrolled in English-language courses, found a part-time job and bought a car.

The shelter also is giving her daughter the kind of Christmas she never had at home.

“We’d celebrate Christmas, but it was always tarnished by sadness,” Berta said.

Every family staying in transitional living cottages gets a decorated Christmas tree. Kids and parents are asked to make wish lists for Christmas gifts.

Shelter volunteers work year-round on their Christmas drive. They partner with local businesses and individuals to sponsor “Giving Trees” and give Christmas presents to families.

Volunteers gather hundreds of donated gifts and set up shop in a room inside the shelter that could rival Santa’s workshop.

The gifts aren’t just for families staying in the emergency shelter. Families in transitional housing and those who participate in the shelter outreach programs at the main campus and the Immokalee outreach office also receive gifts.

On Christmas morning, hundreds of shelter participants and their children will have a big breakfast, meet Santa and open gifts.
“A lot of families usually come here without a planned exit,” said Tami Welford, the shelter’s development and volunteer manager. “We do everything we can to make sure they have a home away from home, security and a merry Christmas.”

Lois Castronova and Maxine Robbins have volunteered in the shelter’s holiday operations for the past 11 years and have been in charge the past three years.

They call themselves the “Head Elves.”

The two delight in finding the perfect gifts for kids and their moms.

“A lot of women come here with nothing,” Robbins said. “They’ll ask for things they need, but we like to give them something they want. Something to make them feel special — perfume, a purse, some makeup.”

“It may be the only time they can express something they want instead of putting their kids’ needs first,” Castronova said.
Kids will ask for toys ranging from basketballs to bicycles.
When they arrive at the shelter, many of the moms ask for self-improvement books.

“They’re here to heal,” Castronova said. “They get here and they’re safe, and they realize they can be themselves again.”
Maria kept giving her abusive relationship a chance because she wanted a family.

“I also felt fear of never finding true love,” Maria said. “Fear of getting old and being alone.”

A mother to three children, she knew she had to leave when one of her daughters called 911 after seeing her father lay his hands on Maria. Her kids were taken from her that day and sent to live with other relatives, she said.

“It felt like my world crumbled that day,” Maria said.

She got her kids back after about three months, she said, and now the four of them live in another one of the transitional housing cottages.

Maria works full-time and attends therapy sessions at the shelter. The sessions help her "think about not making the same mistakes,” she said.

Maria and Berta said they felt lost while experiencing the abuse, but now they feel grounded in having an army of people supporting and encouraging them to stand on their own two feet and make better lives for themselves and their children.

“It took a great deal of courage for them to leave those situations,” said Carol Roldan, the women’s transitional living program advocate. “They’re motivated, courageous and faithful. They cut the thread of their fear and are stronger for it.”

Their faith, gratitude and the friendships they’ve formed at the shelter have helped them get through tough times.

They encourage anyone in an abusive relationship to ask for help.

“One of my biggest lessons was that just because it’s hard, it’s not impossible,” Maria said. “Keep faith in God, or whoever you put your faith in. It might look rainy now, but the sun will come out.”

If you are in an abusive relationship and need help, call 911 or the Shelter for Abused Women and Children’s 24-hour crisis line at 239-775-1101.

CHARLES STARLING, ANOTHER POLICE OFFICER IS ARRESTED FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

CHARLES STARLING, ANOTHER POLICE OFFICER IS ARRESTED FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:

HE BEAT UP HIS WIFE DURING AN ALTERCATION.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE IGNORED AND IT MUST BE STOPPED.

MILLIONS OF MEN ARE PRETENDING TO BE "NICE GUYS" IN THE PUBLIC YET BEATING UP THEIR WIVES & GIRLFRIENDS AT HOME.


Sources: The State


******* Columbia police officer arrested on domestic violence charges


A Columbia Police officer is facing domestic battery charges after he was accused of grabbing, pushing and elbowing his wife in the jaw, according to the Lexington County Sheriff’s Department.

Charles Starling, 37, is charged with second-degree domestic violence. He is being held at the Lexington County Detention Center, where he awaits a bond hearing Friday afternoon.

Starling was arrested on Thursday after investigators determined he was the primary aggressor in an incident involving his wife, said Lexington County Sheriff Jay Koon, in a news release by his agency.

“The victim attempted to avoid an altercation by asking Mr. Starling to leave the residence and a struggle began,” Koon said.

COLUMBIA, SC POLICE OFFICER ARRESTED FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (TOBIN BARTON)

COLUMBIA, SC POLICE OFFICER ARRESTED FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:

HE GRABBED HIS GIRLFRIEND AROUND THE THROAT DURING A DISPUTE.

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN MUST NOT BE IGNORED AND IT MUST BE STOPPED.


Sources: WLTX, Youtube

******

A Columbia, SC Police Officer was arrested and charged with criminal Domestic Violence early Saturday morning in Columbia.

Sheriff Leon Lott said that Tobin Barton, 36, was arrested following an assault call around 1am Saturday near Sparkleberry lane.

Lott says that Barton and his girlfriend were involved in a verbal altercation when Barton assaulted the victim by grabbing her around the throat.

It was determined that Barton is a Police Officer with the city of Columbia, SC.

Barton was arrested and transported to the Alvin S. Glenn Detention Center.

Barton has been suspended without pay.

SOPHIE FORD FIRED FROM JOB AS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER DIRECTOR IN MARYLAND

SOPHIE FORD FIRED FROM JOB AS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER DIRECTOR IN MARYLAND:

THE SHELTER RECEIVED $1 MIL IN FUNDS YET WAS FULL OF MOLD, MICE AND HAD NO HEAT.

SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT BATTERED WOMEN AND CHILDREN.

SHE JUST WANTED A PAYCHECK.


Sources: Washington Post, Youtube


******* Pr. George’s shelter under new leadership after complaints of pests, mold, rotting food


The director of a women’s shelter in Prince George’s County was asked to resign this week after clients staying at the domestic violence safe house complained about rotten food, pests and mold inside the home.

The women and children staying at the Family Crisis Center Inc. of Prince George’s County were moved to other accommodations this weekend after the board of directors for the independent nonprofit group asked executive director Sophie Ford to resign Thursday.

Ford was accused by residents of neglecting their complaints about poor conditions at the home, which can house up to 55 people and is the only emergency temporary shelter for domestic violence survivors in the county.

“I know we owe the community an apology and we’ve learned some hard lessons,” said Andrea Morris, who sits on the nonprofit board and was appointed interim director of the center. She will oversee repairs during the next week.

“We regret the situation tremendously and the board realized we need to have more direct ongoing oversight of the organization,” she said.

Morris said the board had misplaced its trust in Ford, who initially denied the allegations from residents, but after both the county and state government sent officials to inspect the safe house, the board asked the executive director to step down.

The center was founded in 1981 and receives all its funding from public sources, including an annual contract with Prince George’s County, which leads the state in domestic violence-related slayings.

This is not the first time the shelter has run into problems. In 2015, the county’s Office of Ethics and Accountability received a tip that later proved credible about a lack of “quality controls” at the shelter and recommended greater oversight and a “facility repairs plan” for the facility.

The Prince George’s Department of Family Services, which contracts with the shelter, is helping the nonprofit group pay to move the more than 40 women and their children to safe locations during the holiday season. They expect to move everyone back into the home by Jan. 1 before school begins and construction work is done.

GOV CUOMO UNVEILS GUN BILL TO CURB DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOMICIDES (HILLARY 2020)

GOV ANDREW CUOMO (NY) UNVEILS GUN BILL TO CURB DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOMICIDES:

HILLARY CLINTON NEEDS TO RUN AGAIN IN 2020 TO FIGHT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.

ALL GOVERNORS SHOULD ADOPT GOV CUOMO'S INITIATIVE TO PREVENT MORE WOMEN FROM BEING BEATEN & MURDERED.

THE CYCLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & SEXUAL HARASSMENT AGAINST WOMEN MUST BE STOPPED.


Sources: The Hill, YouTube


****** NY gov unveiling bill to remove firearms from those with domestic violence convictions


New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) said he will announce legislation Wednesday to remove firearms from people who commit domestic violence crimes.

"Today I am announcing legislation to remove all firearms from those who commit any domestic violence crimes," Cuomo tweeted.

"Given the inextricable link between domestic violence and lethal gun violence, this legislation will require all domestic violence crime convictions, including misdemeanors, to result in the immediate removal of all firearms."

Cuomo said this year will be remembered as "the year of reckoning, when both the tragedy of mass shootings and cultural and institutional harassment of women became impossible to ignore."

"Let's make New York a safer state for all," he said.

Democratic lawmakers have pushed for new gun control measures after a series of mass shootings over the past year, including recent ones in Las Vegas and Texas.

More than 50 people were killed and more than 500 others wounded when a gunman opened fire at a country music festival in Las Vegas in early October. The following month, 26 people were killed after a gunman opened fire on churchgoers attending a Sunday service at a church in Sutherland Springs, Texas.

Police identified the suspect in the Texas shooting as Devin Kelley, who was discharged from the Air Force in 2014 for bad conduct after a domestic violence conviction. But the Air Force came under fire for failing to enter Kelley's domestic violence court-martial into a federal database used for background checks on gun sales.

Last month, a Democratic lawmaker introduced a billthat would require the Justice Department to conduct a study examining whether there is a correlation between individuals who have a history of domestic violence and mass shooters.

"If we look at the recent mass shootings in Sutherland Springs, Orlando, and the Congressional Baseball Game practice, we see a noticeable trend: all these shooters acted alone and had prior history of domestic violence," Rep. Mike Quigley (D-Ill.) said in a statement in November.

"Studies on the link between domestic violence at the early stages and mass shootings may help us prevent individuals from carrying out these horrific crimes in the future," he added.

CHARLOTTE POLICE DEVISE NEW PLAN TO REDUCE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN (TAKE HEED DC & MARYLAND)

CHARLOTTE POLICE DEVISE NEW PLAN TO REDUCE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN (TAKE HEED DC & MARYLAND):

IT'S TIME TO STOP COVERING UP FOR MEN WHO BEAT THEIR WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS REGARDLESS OF HOW "NICE" THOSE MEN MAY APPEAR.

"NICE" MEN DO NOT BEAT UP THEIR WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS.

"NICE" MEN DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY ON THEIR WIVES.

"NICE" MEN CAN NOT BE PROVOKED TO BEAT UP THEIR WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS.

SO STOP LYING TO PROTECT THESE VIOLENT MEN WHO DESERVE PRISON TIME, INCLUDING MEN WHO ATTEND CHURCH.

MANY CHURCHES PROTECT WIFE BEATERS WITHIN THEIR CONGREGATION.

WOULD JESUS PROTECT A WIFE BEATER??


Sources: Charlotte Observer, ABC News, Australia Today, Psychology Today, Youtube


***** A quarter of Charlotte’s homicide cases involve domestic violence. This plan may help.


About a quarter of the city’s 84 homicide victims so far in 2017 have died through domestic violence, according to Charlotte-Mecklenburg police.

The victims have included a UNC-Charlotte professor, at least one pregnant woman and, on Saturday, a recent immigrant and her mother-in-law. Police said her husband shot and killed both women, and then himself, in an east Charlotte apartment.

In the next few years, city leaders hope to save lives and reduce Charlotte’s domestic violence overall by opening a family justice center, based on a model that has worked well in other cities, CMPD Sgt. Craig Varnum said.

“Instead of the victim having to go across the street to talk to a Safe Alliance advocate, down the road to talk to someone at Community Support Services to get counseling for their child, coming here to talk to a police officer and across the street to get a 50B (protective order), they go to one place,” where representatives from all those agencies will be available, he said.



The center is only in planning stages, but Varnum said he expects it will open within three years. He said it’s too early to estimate how much the center will cost.

Communities around the state and country have seen big reductions in domestic violence after opening family justice centers, Varnum said. In San Diego, where the country’s first family justice center opened in 2002, he said domestic violence calls dropped 50 percent during a six-year period. Domestic violence homicides declined, too, he said.

Beyond the key goal of improving victims’ lives, reducing domestic violence will help the city overall, Varnum said. Nearly 40 percent of the 52 homicide suspects identified so far this year have criminal histories including domestic violence, he said.

“We spend more time investigating crimes of domestic violence than any other crime that we respond to,” he said. “We average about 35,000 calls per service per year that are related to domestic violence.” Varnum said about 9,000 of those calls turn into criminal reports every year.

The Buncombe County Family Justice Center opened in Asheville in 2016, and Varnum cited research about what victims in Buncombe County dealt with before the center opened.


In the first three days after a victim asked for help – a request often sparked by a violent, traumatic incident, Varnum said – Buncombe County found that, on average, victims went to eight different locations, spoke with 12 people about their cases and filled out 61 pages of paperwork.

The traveling and bureaucracy are a particular challenge for victims who have come to an unfamiliar place without transportation and who may be accompanied by children, Varnum said. In contrast, the family justice center is meant to be a safe place where victims can get all the help they need.

Laura Lawrence, chief legal officer for Safe Alliance, which helps survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in Mecklenburg County, will work with Varnum to lead the creation of the new center, she said Wednesday.

So far, the steering committee includes representatives from Pat’s Place Child Advocacy Center, the district attorney’s office, Child and Family Services Center and the county’s Community Support Services, along with Safe Alliance and the police, Lawrence said.

In the new center, Lawrence said victims will meet first with a Safe Alliance representative, who will help them file a protective order and decide what to do next.


Filing protective orders sometimes involves waiting in court for hours, Lawrence said, which can be intimidating and stressful for victims, especially when they have children. As early as March – long before the new center opens – Safe Alliance clients will be able to stay in a safe place and make video calls into the courtroom instead of going in person, Lawrence said.

MARYLAND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER UNFIT FOR BATTERED VICTIMS (PRINCE GEORGES' COUNTY)

MARYLAND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHELTER UNFIT FOR BATTERED VICTIMS:

MOLD, MICE & NO HEAT YET THE SHELTER RECEIVES $1 MILLION DOLLARS IN FUNDS EACH YEAR.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS BEING RE-VICTIMIZED IN RAGGEDY SHELTERS.


Sources: Washington Post, NBC, Youtube


***** Shelter for abused women under investigation after reports of mold, spoiled food


Prince George's County housing inspectors and family services officials are investigating conditions inside a county-funded safe house for domestic-violence survivors after residents reported living in mold- and pest-infested rooms, eating spoiled food and enduring cold nights without heat.

The county pays the private nonprofit Family Crisis Center Inc. of Prince George's County $385,000 a year to operate the 55-bed shelter, which is the only facility in the county that provides temporary housing for abused women and their children.

The Family Crisis Center, which also offers counseling and outreach services to domestic-violence victims, receives hundreds of thousands more dollars each year in state and local grants.

Residents of the shelter — whose location is kept private for security reasons — approached reporters during the weekend to say that their concerns had been ignored by the organization's executive director, Sophie Ford. The residents presented videos and photos of mold in bathrooms, broken windows and rust.

One young mother, who declined to give her full name out of fear for her safety, said that shelter staff members were friendly, but that there was never enough money for groceries.

"The food was like slop," said the woman, who asked to be identified by her first name, Jay. "It got so bad that my children wouldn't eat it, and I wouldn't let them. I went to the store nearby to buy whatever I could find."

Ford did not respond to requests for comment. But in a statement posted on the crisis center's Facebook page, the organization said it is investigating the complaints and making repairs to the century-old building. The statement denied that the safe house lacked heat or that any of its 46 residents consumed rotten food.

"It is our highest priority to protect our population," the statement said. "Therefore we take any and all complaints very serious. . . . These allegations strike at the core of our mission."

Elana Belon-Butler, director of the county's Department of Family Services, visited the crisis center facility on Monday and saw leaking shower heads, filthy air vents and other problems.

"I was not aware of the extent, severity and complexity of the issues," said Belon-Butler, adding that she is awaiting a complete report from inspectors. "I saw a number of things I am concerned about."

The county Department of Family Services conducts quarterly site inspections of shelters it contracts with, notifying the organizations ahead of arrival. Officials are reviewing past reports, including the one from the most recent Nov. 29 site visit. The shelter has been funded by the county since 1993.

"Specifically, what we are going to wait to see is whether or not there has been any violation of the grant agreement," Belon-
Butler said. "We are taking this very seriously."

Prince George's leads the state in domestic-violence-related homicides. The safe house is part of a network of services — including a year-old Family Justice Center focused on helping abuse victims — aimed at combating the violence.

The Family Crisis Center was paid $108,000 by the county this fall to expand services to southern Prince George's. Since 2012, the organization has won at least $630,000 in county grants. The shelter also received $1.2 million in the past two years from the Governor's Office of Crime Control and Prevention.

A grant coordinator from the state inspected the shelter on Tuesday after WUSA-TV reported on the residents' complaints, agency spokesman Robert James said. No major problems were reported during two site visits earlier this year.

The state also investigated complaints about the shelter in 2015, James said. After several staff members were removed, he said, conditions improved.

Keiyauna Stanley, a former manager of the shelter, said she was fired in November after contacting the organization's board of directors about conditions at the house and unpaid utility bills.

Carolyn White Williams, the head of a nonprofit that donates toys and clothes to the women in the shelter, said, "The issues have been going on for a mighty long time."

White Williams, founder of Sister 4 Sister Inc., said she complained about insufficient funds and shelter mismanagement during a recent County Council oversight hearing but did not receive a response that satisfied her.

"My heart is with those women. It makes me really, really angry," she said.

County Council Chair Dannielle M. Glaros (D) called the allegations about the shelter "disturbing and unacceptable."

"We anxiously await more details from the inspections and the results of this investigation before determining the best next steps to support the needs of the residents of the Family Crisis Center," she said in a statement.

Prince George's County State's Attorney Angela Alsobrooks (D), who is running for county executive, successfully sought state funding this year to provide additional short-term housing options for domestic-violence victims.

Her spokesman, John Erzen, said Alsobrooks was motivated in part by long-standing concerns about the crisis center.
"We wanted to try and bring another option when people are looking to get out of dangerous situations," Erzen said.