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N.J. Father David Goldman and Son Fly Home From Brazil
A U.S. congressman said a New Jersey man and his 9-year-old son left Brazil today at the end of a five-year International Custody battle.
Rep. Chris Smith said David Goldman and the boy, Sean, are on their way to the United States on a charter plane.
They left Rio de Janeiro about three hours after the boy's Brazilian relatives handed him over at the U.S. consulate today.
Brazil's Supreme Court chief justice two days ago had ordered the boy handed over to Goldman.
The pair were expected to fly back to the Goldman's home in New Jersey within hours.
David Goldman, of Tinton Falls, has been trying to gain custody of his son again since his ex-wife took the 9-year-old to her native country. But family members and child psychology experts are concerned that Sean's re-acclimation to life in the United States may be a difficult one.
Leslie Goldman last saw her nephew dashing around with his cousins at a backyard birthday party five years ago, about a week before he was taken to Brazil by his mother.
When the 9-year-old eventually returns to New Jersey, she said she doesn’t expect the same Sean to step off the plane. "I’m sure it’s not going to be all smooth sailing, and I know we’ll have some help with that," Leslie Goldman said Wednesday of the boy’s re-adjustment "It won’t be easy, but it will be easier than having him there."
On Wednesday, the bitter five-year battle to regain custody of Sean, by his father David Goldman of Tinton Falls, neared conclusion when the child’s Brazilian family halted its legal efforts as a court-ordered deadline for delivering the boy loomed.
A Federal court in Rio de Janeiro on Wednesday gave the boy’s Brazilian family until 9 a.m. today to return Sean to his father.
But even after all the legal victories David Goldman has had in the long custody battle, the boy’s relatives in New Jersey remained guarded.
"We’ve come really close many times," Leslie Goldman said. "I’ve been down this road before so it doesn’t feel like anything until he really comes home."
Both the U.S. and the Brazilian governments have said the matter fell under the Hague Convention, which dictates children who are abducted should be returned to their "habitual residence" custody should go to the parent in the country where the child orignally lived -- for Sean Goldman, the United States.
The boy, whose mother died last year in childbirth, has lived in Brazil with his stepfather and other relatives. His maternal grandmother said yesterday Sean was upset by the decision and wants to remain in Brazil.
"We think we’re truly at the end of this ordeal," U.S. Rep. Chris Smith (R-4th Dist.), who traveled to Brazil to support David Goldman, said in an interview Wednesday from a Marriott hotel in Rio de Janeiro, where the congressman has been camped out for several days with Goldman and a team of his attorneys. "We have no reason to believe it will not be enforced."
The seemingly endless court battle may be over, but transporting a boy primarily raised in Brazil to live with relatives he may not fully remember in New Jersey will add its own traumas, according to child therapists.
Children under the age of 5 usually retain few memories, so the boy’s recollections of his family and experiences here are likely be very limited, said Lawrence Shampain, a child psychiatrist at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.
Adjusting to a new culture and language will make his re-introduction to life in the U.S. significantly more difficult than most family or marital separations, which can often include weekend visitations or vacation time spent between relatives, he said.
"In divorce, usually there’s some contact in the relationship, but this is really a complete break, so it’s everything to the extreme," Shampain said. "He might experience more anxiety, maybe depression."
In addition to the loss of his father and relatives in New Jersey, the boy recently dealt with the death of his mother in Brazil, Shampain noted. The psychological impact of transporting him to New Jersey could be very similar to that of an adoption, he believes.
Ideally, Sean Goldman will be able to sustain a relationship with his family in Brazil, provided the family is able to move beyond the hostility of a drawn-out legal battle, said Peggy Brady-Amoon, a psychologist who teaches in the graduate counseling program at Seton Hall University.
"Children do well when the adults in their lives are able to communicate," Brady-Amoon said. "We know this from children who have thrived despite their parents’ divorces."
If the boy is given enough space to build up trust with his new family, "the fact that he’s young will likely be to his advantage," she added. "Giving him time to play, to reflect, to talk about it at his own pace, will help him transition well. Children are extremely resilient."
There will likely be struggles ahead for David Goldman, too, she said. Sean may not be as affectionate or trusting as his father initially hopes, and it could take a long time to re-establish their relationship.
"He doesn’t really know his son, and his son doesn’t know him," Shampain agreed. "He doesn’t know his son’s habits, he doesn’t know his son’s likes and dislikes, who this nine-year-old is."
Yet friends insist David Goldman is willing to do what it takes. He sat in his hotel room for hours yesterday, checking his e-mail on a laptop for updates from the U.S. Embassy in Brazil, anxiously awaiting his son with a plastic bag filled with Christmas presents, they said.
"I know first-hand this is a loving and caring father who will make sure he does everything he needs to do for Sean," said Mark DeAngelis, a friend who lives in Holmdel. "He just wants to spend time to rebuild his relationship with his son. And Sean’s got his grandparents, aunts and uncles here, too -- I think he’ll be fine."
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Sources: NJ.com, MSNBC, NBC New York, AP, Youtube, Google Maps
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