Alleged mistress: Woods never gave me money. Jamie Jungers, a 26-year-old lingerie model who claims she had an affair with the married Tiger Woods, says there will always be a place in her heart for Woods.
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Woods’ alleged mistress: ‘Together forever’. Jaimee Grubbs, one of the women allegedly romantically involved with golfer Tiger Woods, is speaking out for the first time. NBC’s Peter Alexander reports.
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Gold-diggers like these set Women back
Feminism is dead. Long live the gold digger!
It is with epic sadness that I inform serious ladies your day is over. The rat race has been done in by the drive-by boob job. The Ivy League, once the portal through which young things improved their minds, has been supplanted in cultural value by the red-velvet rope of the VIP cocktail lounge.
As the ballad of Tiger Woods finishes its second week, the world has changed. Now, every housewife and diner waitress is intimately acquainted with the ascendant breed of woman who dominates our age, leading a life to which we all can aspire.
Gold diggers. The type is as old as sex itself. But this new brand of digger has taken her calling to an art form, legitimizing what used to be called the world's oldest profession.
Each of Tiger's expanding bevy of interchangeable cuties has a few things in common: they're attractive — in a shopping-mall-obvious kind of way; they're eminently available; and they've adopted glamorous-sounding career titles such as "VIP club hostess" and "aspiring reality-TV star." Try majoring in that at Barnard.
Most importantly, they're not too bright. After a day running the free world, Bill Clinton didn't care to be mentally challenged, either, when seeking a place to park his cigar.
Some of Tiger's kittens have hired publicists. Cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs joined the VIP circuit herself, landing a prime table at a celeb-choked Los Angeles nightclub, a bit of success akin to winning the lottery.
How far can they take their easy virtue? With publicity and imagination, there is no limit.
Tiger's conquests are divided into two categories — The Pros and The Talent. Older gals in their mid-30s and facing their expiration dates are Pros (formerly madams) who help procure young things for their clients. The talent is the talent.
# The grandma of Pros is Rachel Uchitel, 34, the 9/11 widow-turned-"VIP hostess," who provided Tiger with gals from here to Australia, after taking her turn. Rachel gave an insider's peek to The Post's Emily Smith, yammering about how she hired a girl to hang with a big shot on a trip to Europe, with disastrous results:
"She passed out from too many Quaaludes," Rachel said, horrified. "The guy came downstairs and was like, 'Rachel, I don't know you, but you brought hookers here, and they are not even like hookers? This girl passed out on my bed. It was, like, gross.'"
Tiger was said to be negotiating a hush-up settlement with her, but she's already sold herself to OK magazine — so I'm not sure what exactly she's hushing up. But I can guess.
# Kalika Moquin, 27, set up Tiger in Vegas with females who looked as he likes them. This lucrative calling is legal in all 50 states.
# Jamie Jungers, 26, is a lingerie model who was hired to "rub elbows," and presumably other parts, with high-rollers in Vegas, where she says she carried on a torrid, and profitable, Tiger affair.
# Jaimee Grubbs, 24, a Los Angeles cocktail waitress and contestant on VH1's "Tool Academy" only looks dumb. She saved Tiger's text messages during a 31-month affair, which got him in trouble with the wife. Oh, and she loved him.
# Mindy Lawton, 33, a pancake-house waitress, made up for advancing years with her appetite for spankings and hair-pulling, a tale she was happy to sell to a British tabloid.
# Holly Sampson, 36, is a porn actress who starred in "OMG, Stop Tickling Me!" Never stop.
# Porn star Veronica Siwik-Daniels, aka Joslyn James, favored simultaneous sexual partners before the camera. Now that's talent.
There also is an unnamed 26-year-old Orlando cocktail waitress, a British TV broadcaster and a "sex-addicted cougar."
These gals are tanned, rested and lawyered up. Expect them to go for the gold.
It beats working. Suckers!
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Sources: MSN, Fox Sports, NY Post, Google Maps
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