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Saturday, May 12, 2012

Breastfeeding Until The Age Of 3? No Way! Kiddie Porn Or "Attachment Parenting"??

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Each time I look at the recent TIME Magazine Breastfeeding Cover I think "Kiddie Porn".


I am the Mother of two Adult Sons.

When my Sons were Babies I did Breastfeed them up until almost prior to their First Birthday.

Choosing to stop Breastfeeding them just prior to Age One was my personal preference as a Mother.


I would NEVER, EVER have Breastfed my Sons up to the Age of 3!

I don't care what Dr. Bill Sears or anyone else says, choosing to Breastfeed a 3-Year-Old is NOT "Attachment Parenting", its just plain Crazy and NOT Emotionally Healthy for Children.

Especially little Boys who have to grow up & become Strong, Men!

I believe TIME Magazine's Breastfeeding Cover was Provocative, Shocking, Brilliant & Controversial as it relates to Selling Units and the Magazine's bottom line, even if it does promote a style of Parenting that may NOT be Popular.

Yes this kind of Shock value does in fact Sell, just as Sex Sells.

The ironic thing is if an Adult posts a Video of a 3 or 4-year-old Child Sucking on a Woman's Breast, that Adult would be Arrested for promoting Kiddie Porn NOT for promoting "Attachment Parenting"!

Thus the question becomes NOT "Are You Mom Enough?" but Are You "Mom Enough" to STOP Breastfeeding Your Children before the Age of One or once they are able to Walk, Talk, Use the Bathroom Alone & Eat Real Table Food just as an Older Child can?

Time magazine cover -- forget the breast, what about the boy?

Jamie Lynn Grumet, the 26-year-old mother featured on the cover of Time magazine breastfeeding her 3-year-old son, has done more this week than become the poster woman for “attachment parenting,” the sometimes laudable movement that advises parents to be physically and emotionally available and responsive to their children.

She has shown the limits of such a concept, and the ways in which it can be twisted into a bizarre, contemptible caricature of itself.

Grumet is a model, and models have to have at least healthy dose of narcissism (television journalists like me, too, by the way).

But I fear Grumet has more than what’s healthy.

Because she thought nothing of becoming far more famous than she ever was or ever would have been by getting naked on the cover of Time using her son as a prop—letting him, in fact, look right into the camera and be completely recognizable while sucking her nipple.

He may never be better-known for anything than for being a breastfeeding 3-year-old on the cover of a national magazine.
When he enters school later in his young life he may be ridiculed for it.

And these realities hint at a woman who could (and I have not evaluated her) have very poor boundaries and be willing or likely not only to nurture a child, but to absorb him, deny him his personhood and render him no more than her appendage.

In short, it is not at all clear who is the “parent” in the Time magazine photograph.

Is Grumet responding to real and healthy needs emanating from her son’s psyche, or is he responding to her potentially outsized needs to be the center of attention and the object of desire (if only for warmth).

Who, we can legitimately ask, is feeding whom?

See, Grumet loves being photographed.
And she apparently loves having her son breastfeed.

And she loves attention.

And she’s happy enough to get naked in front of other people (which there may be nothing wrong with—for her).

But that may or may not be the case for her 3-year-old boy, which seems not to have mattered to her—at all. And if his will was bent to hers in order to have him suck his mother’s nipple in front of a photographer and makeup artist and art director and all of America, then it stands to reason that his will may be being bent to hers in all sorts of ways—including protracted breastfeeding.

The truth is that what Time magazine may have unwittingly captured and been party to was a grotesque form of psychological abuse—the parading into public of an intimate moment (intimate for mother and child) at the sole direction of that child’s mother, who didn’t stop to think that her child may not be able at the age of three to know what he thinks about the whole thing, much less to stop it, if he wanted to.

Grumet has stained the attachment parenting movement by documenting how easily it can go wrong, when used as an excuse for poor boundaries and manipulation.

In a way, while looking at the Time magazine cover, we are all Grumet’s son and may know something of his possible plight: finding her a compelling and dramatic presence, seduced by her combination of sex appeal and motherhood—unable, in fact, to detach from her.

Talk about a prescription for psychological disaster.

This is self-centeredness at its worst, sold as good parenting.

And this is an act of media violence against a child, committed by adult journalists who also commandeered his will (as did his mother), for sensation and profit.

Rarely do we get such evidence of how wrong parenting can go, how poorly journalists can behave and how slow we can be to recognize ugliness when it is disguised as something beautiful.

Breastfeeding Mom on Time magazine cover speaks out on ‘Today’ show

The young mom who sparked a media storm breastfeeding her 3-year-old son on the cover of Time magazine is opening up about the controversial photo.

Jamie Lynne Grumet, 26, appeared on NBC's "Today" show on Friday to discuss the cover, which shows her casually nursing her toddler Aram, who stares straight into the camera while he stands on a wooden chair.

"I do understand why Time chose this picture, because it did create such a media craze ... to get the dialogue talking," Grumet said.

The ensuing controversy focused on attachment parenting - the topic of Time's cover story - particularly extended breastfeeding.

Grumet explains that she was breastfed until she was 6-years-old and cites it as the reason she and her mother have a close bond.

Dr. Bill Sears, who developed the attachment parenting theory, also appeared on "Today" with Grumet. While both are advocates of the controversial parenting technique - which also includes co-sleeping, or letting children sleep in their parent's beds - Grumet admits it's not for everyone.

"You need to do what's best for your own baby and your family," she says.

Commenters on the Daily News' original article about the Time cover were alarmed by the Grumet's photograph, one reader even calling it "child porn."

Other commenters agreed, voicing concern that Grumet's son would endure psychological problems later on in life.

"Nice job lady," one reader wrote. "You've at best given this kid a lifetime of needing major therapy and at worst created a serial killer."

And not all of the criticism is coming from people against attachment parenting, Grumet notes.

"I understand some of the breast-feeding advocates are actually upset about this," she said on "Today." blogger Shawna Cohen, who says she practices some attachment parenting principles, wrote that she was disappointed in the Time cover.

"It angers me because it portrays AP moms as being totally extreme," she wrote in a blog post. "And in most cases, that couldn't be further from the truth."

Even celebrities chimed in - including new mom Alyssa Milano.

"Time, no! You missed the mark!" the actress wrote on Twitter. "You're supposed to be making it easier for breastfeeding moms. Your cover is exploitative and extreme."

Grumet explains that the cover didn't adequately demonstrate the nurturing side of attachment parenting.

"This isn't how we breastfeed at home," she says. "It's more of a cradling, nurturing situation."

Grumet, who has one other 5-year-old son, says she hopes to stop breastfeeding Aram, who turns 4 next month, sometime in the next year.

Sources: Morning Joe Show, MSNBC, NBC, NY Daily News, TIME Magazine, Today Show, Youtube

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