VH1's "Celebrity Fit Club" Fails To Whip Kevin Federline And Bobby Brown Into Shape
It's not clear how we're doing with recycling cans and bottles these days, but reality television has achieved close to 100% success in recycling B- and C-list celebrities.
The latest familiar batch shows up tonight to kick off the seventh season of VH1's "Celebrity Fit Club," in which they ask a Marine DI to whip their figures back into shape.
This group includes former Skid Row lead singer Sebastian Bach; one-time "Baywatch" babe Nicole Eggert; Shar Jackson from "Moesha"; KayCee Stroh from "High School Musical"; Bobby Brown from the Whitney Houston marriage; Tanisha Thomas from "Bad Girls Club"; Jay McCarroll, first-season winner of "Project Runway," and Kevin Federline from the Britney Spears marriage.
Extra credit for any viewer who notices that Federline and Jackson have the added connection of being parents of the same baby.
That situation, which one imagines was hardly incidental to the casting staff, surfaces briefly tonight and apparently will get its whole dramatic moment further along in the nine-episode series.
Bobby Brown gets Monday's highlight-reel moment.
The other celebs look at the relatively spare surroundings in which they will live during the show and start muttering about barracks.
Brown looks around, shrugs, and says, "It's easy compared to being in jail."
For better or worse, that's about as good as it gets.
The show starts with each celeb lamenting how he or she devolved from a hot body to a wide body, or, as Brown says, from a six-pack to a keg.
None of the stories is particularly memorable and, interestingly, no one suggests that weight gain was a by-product of depression from losing the spotlight.
Retired Marine DI Harvey Walden 4th does his part to make this experience look as harrowing as possible, though, as in past seasons, it becomes clear that his power is limited.
When one celeb quits in the middle of the first exercise challenge, Walden can only say, "You gonna quit?" And the celeb says, "Yeah."
It would be fun at that point if Walden could order the whole platoon to do 200 extra pushups. It just doesn't happen.
But then, "Fit Club" isn't out to teach the country a fitness regimen. Its main goal is to stir up some passing celebrity dust.
That's why Jackson and Federline are in the same group, and why Thomas and Brown are here. Coop them up for long enough, the producers figure, and they'll do or say something provocative.
But viewers should know they might get hungry waiting around for that to happen.
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Sources: VH1, NY Daily News, Celebrity Fit Club 7, Google Maps
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