"Congress Before Christmas", Sen. Kit Bond Blasts Dems

Sen. Bond Slams Dems in Christmas Poem

Here Senator Kit Bond (Rep.) sits down with his dog, Tiger, and Shana Marchio's (his Communications Director) dog, Pooley, and gives his rendition of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" originally penned by Clement Clarke Moore.

Sorry about the sound quality of this video.

I think its fuzzy due to the way it was uploaded on Youtube.

You can blame Bond's Communications Director or the equipment he used to record with.

That's the spirit Sen. Bond!

He turns a sour situation into lemonade with this prose.







Here's the full script I borrowed from TPM:



'Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the Hill Not a creature was stirring, not even a bill; The walls were all marked by junk not so jolly Dead measures Harry'd flung in his health care folly;

The members were nestled all snug in their steads,
While visions of home danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'travel clothes', and I with my bag,
Hoped Harry's bill had hit the final snag,

When out of CBO there arose such a clatter,
We knew the media would never ask what's the matter.
Away to the sink I flew like a flash,
Threw up in the basin o'er the loss of our cash.

The score from the deal from Harry's back-room
Showed a massive debt explosion coming too soon,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the President and 8 Democrats trembling with fear!

Obama admonished them all filibusters to block
No matter if it meant we'd all soon be in hock
More rapid than eagles his minions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and prepared to lay blame;

Now Schumer, now Sanders, now Durbin and Harkin
On Landrieu, on Nelson, on Bayh and Lincoln
To the well of the Senate, to the top of the wall
Vote away! Vote Away! Vote Away all!

As spending before the wild deficits fly
Roll over all obstacles, mount to the sky
So up to the house-top, the debt it flew
With a sleigh full of goodies, cap-and-trade too!

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roofs
The prancing and pawing of White House goofs.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Pete Orszag came with a bound.

He was dressed all in promises, from his head to his foot,
Carrying ads from big Pharma's loot
A bundle of payoffs he had flung on his back,
He looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
He and the White House got the goods from old Harry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
"Don't bother reading it; no need to go slow."

Ignore all those voters, it's ok if they seethe,
Suck it up and sell it, even if they are peeved.
These folks have had their financial confidence shaken;
It will be years 'til they know how badly they've been taken.

He was happy and cheerful, a right jolly old elf,
But I could not catch the holiday spirit myself;
How far away from common sense we've been led,
Our kids and our grandkids have their futures to dread;

He spoke not a word, but turned with a jerk,
Planning and plotting, to make the numbers work,
He distributed the benefits as far as can be;
And dreamed up new taxes, levies and fees.
With a flick of his wrist he waived off the Minority,
In a scary display of his unelected authority.
To all he warned, the voters at home be ignored,
They have figured out it's their ox t'will be gored.



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Sources: The Daily Beast, TPM, The Hill, Youtube, Google Maps